Mar 5, 2013

YOUR SWEATER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL

Usually when one buys clothes second-hand at shops like Goodwill, one just wonders whether it's been laundered properly. But Pat Robertson brought an entirely new worry to the fore on Monday's episode of his "700 Club" program. Responding to an email sent in by a viewer, the elderly televangelist said that, while not all clothes have demonic spirits attached to them, it never hurts to take some precautionary measures.

Robertson was answering a question from viewer Carrie, who wrote:
I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops. Recently my mom told me that I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house. Is my mother correct? Can demons attach themselves to material items?
Robertson answered Carrie's question with a story about a girl who was troubled by a ring that had been prayed over by a witch. "She had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was," Robertson said, before claiming that demonic spirits can certainly attach themselves to objects.

Now, does this mean all second-hand clothing is a vessel of the devil? Not exactly, according to Robertson, but "it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”

Goodwill's website encourages those who wish to make a donation to launder or dry clean clothes before bringing them in.

RUN!

Story source.

Image source. 

Mar 4, 2013

THE HECK D'YA MEAN?



Alright, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself? Are you alone?

Well, yeah.

You know who this is?

Well, yeah, I got an idea. 
How's that Ciera working out for ya?

Circumstances have changed, Jerry.

Well, what do ya mean?

Things have changed, circumstances, Jerry...
force majeure, acts of God.

How's Jean?

Who's Jean?

My wife! What the-?

Oh... right. 
She's alright,
but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so okay,
I'll tell you that.


What the heck are ya talking about? 
Let's just finish this deal up here.

Blood has been shed, Jerry.

What the heck do ya mean?

Three people, in Brainerd... are dead.

Oh, jeez!

That's right, we need more money.

What the heck are ya talking about? 
What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?

Never mind. We need more money...

This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!

DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY!
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Well, I'm sorry, but I just... I don't...

I'm not gonna debate with you, Jerry! 
I'm not gonna debate! 
Three people in Brainerd were killed. 
We now want the entire 80,000!

Oh, for chrissake, here! 

Feb 28, 2013

UTTER TERROR

According to a set of Facebook photos, this eel-like creature was caught in the Raritan River, somewhere in northern New Jersey.

Perhaps most frightening, the rings teeth of displayed in the photo have a very clear purpose: Sea lampreys latch onto their prey, then secrete digestive fluids that slowly eat away and break down the host. The Great Lakes Fishery Commission reports a sea lamprey can be expected to kill upwards of 40 pounds of fish over the course of its life. Survival rates for particular species of host fish can be as low as 15 percent.

Unfortunately, we can't be completely certain this photo really does depict a sea lamprey. "The photo doesn't allow counting of gill openings (seven per side for sea lampreys), but based on size alone, this does appear to be a sea lamprey,” a New York Department of Environmental Conservation spokeswoman told Outside Magazine, according to the New York Daily News.

The species typically grows to 2.5 feet in length, but some sea lampreys have been documented at sizes of up to 3 feet long, reports the Gulf of Maine Research Institute.

Sea lampreys are a native to the Atlantic Ocean and are found along the U.S. Eastern Seaboard and the coast of Europe, as well as in the Great Lakes, where it is considered an invasive species.

The New York Daily News adds that appearances of sea lampreys in New Jersey have increased recently, as officials have begun to remove old dams, thus easing the creature's progress upriver.

Source.

Feb 27, 2013

LORD OF TEARS


Filmmaker Lawrie Brewster of New Age Film was kind enough to reach out to provide us with some information on his new film, Lord of Tears, which is currently in the midst of a very successful Kickstarter campaign.

Brewster describes the film as:
...a British Chiller in the classic tradition of films such as The Wickerman, The Innocents, and The Haunting. Our story concerns a man trapped in a crumbling mansion, stalked by Owl Headed monster in the misty highlands of Scotland, on a mission to piece together a childhood broken apart by repressed memory and dark secrets. It takes inspiration from classic mythology, ancient history and modern legends such as those of - Slender Man! 
The script is written by Sarah Daly (the music artist Metaphorest, and cousin of Kate Bush), stars David Schofield (of Pirates of the Caribbean, Gladiator) and is directed by myself whose (past collaborations with Sarah Daly) has included works with Joseph Gordon Levitt and Channing Tatum, that have featured at Sundance and SXSW.
Click here for info on the film's Kickstarter campaign, Facebook, and the ever popular Tumblr. I am looking very much forward to checking this one out.


Lord of Tears Official Trailer from Lawrie Brewster on Vimeo.

Feb 26, 2013

REVIEW: STRICKEN


In the wake of her mother's death and her father's suicide, Sarah Black is being besieged with awful nightmares. Images of her rotting, black-eyed father are so haunting that she sees them whenever she closes her eyes, even when she's awake. Naturally she begins to think she's cracking up - that the things she is seeing are more than just a byproduct of her emotional state. 

In a defensive move, she buries herself in her job at Whispering Pines, a convalescent home, hoping to get her mind off everything...but her horrors follow her wherever she goes. And she attracts the attention of two homicide detectives after one of her patients goes missing and dies at the hospital. They see a tenuous connection to a ten-year-old murder case that they were never able to put to bed, and so they find reasons to always hang around.

Naturally, Sarah begins to slowly piece together all that she has seen and dreamed.  She begins to realize that it's not all just in her head. There is a very unnatural force plaguing not just her, but also her friends, who begin to fall victim one by one. 


Visually, there is a lot to admire about Stricken. The most effective methods to scare your audiences will always be the easiest: misdirection, sudden movements, darkness, etc. In this regard, writer/director Matthew Sconce is able to overcome his limited budget. Though we've seen many of these types of scares before - a character stoops to reveal a ghostly figure behind her, or a phantom arm reaches into the frame, nearly touching our lead before she turns to reveal...nothing - there's a reason filmmakers still fall back on them: because they work. While some of the techniques are old school, there is a fine mixture of the nu, taking its cue from J-horror of the last decade, but not completely aping it.

It's refreshing to see emphasis on character as well, and that goes beyond our lead and encompasses our two detectives, including Detective Aro. He and his partner are older, bitter, hardened, and haunted by their years on the force. Again, this is familiar territory because they've become dependable techniques with which to tell a story. Oftentimes your detective character isn't just trying to solve a crime because it's his job - rather he's trying to fix within himself the thing that broke long ago. Redemption of self, salvation of soul, etc. 

The story is certainly engaging enough to keep you interested. The film never shows its hand too early and there's a constant genuine sense of intrigue. 

Unfortunately the remainder of the production is severely indicative of said budget. Our lead played by Stephanie French stumbles through most of her role, concentrating too hard on being an actress and not enough on acting. Certain scenes have her forcing her performance instead of allowing it to feel organic and results in occasionally taking the audience out of the moment. The supporting cast, in addition, simply isn't up to the task. Some actors look completely bored with their roles while others are simply distractingly bad.


When checking out something made on a shoestring budget, I try to be as generous and painless as possible. A person should not critique a film like Stricken in the same manner they would a film like, say, the recently released Mama. Stricken does not have a major studio, millions of dollars, and Guillermo Del Toro. It has an independent production, maybe a hundred thousand, and a bunch of amateur filmmakers working with the resources they have available to them. Unfortunately this often includes the usual pratfalls: weak actors and techies eager to show off their skills and end up going overboard. (I'm speaking more in generalities than I am specifically about this film.)

Despite all that, some of the visuals present in Stricken aren't that far off from that of last year's Sinister - a film I happened to love, by the way. And I would love to see what Matthew Sconce could do with several million dollars and access to a more experienced cast. If I'm lucky, perhaps one day I will. 

Feb 25, 2013

MORE BLACK-EYED KIDS

My husband, and our two-year-old son and I went to a used bookstore about two hours from our house in Tucson, Arizona this last Saturday (04/23/2011.) I followed my son as we walked back into the children's area.

He rounded the corner to the aisle with the books. I saw a girl stand, not moving, a little ways down the aisle staring in our direction. Then my husband walked up to us. As he came closer, she did as well, following behind him.

My son ran off toward a table and my husband followed. The girl walked up and got right next to me within inches, almost touching. I started to feel extremely uneasy and moved away to where my husband and son stood at the table. They were both looking down at a Mickey Mouse doll which I tried to talk to my son about.

As I was looking down, I saw movement coming up behind me out of the corner of my eye. It was the girl. I noticed her clothing looked from about the 1960s and she looked very out of place. She was also overdressed with multiple coats on in a normal temperature environment.

She walked in a circling pattern, with her head down in a predatory way, the way a panther stalks its prey. As I stared at her while, she walked slowly. I distinctly remember she did not make a sound when she moved. Which now I am thinking was odd, because she had a lot of clothing on and a bag with her.

Her eyes were all black, no whites of her eyes, no pupils. She stared coldly, devoid of emotion, and you could feel the evil radiating off of her. I remember as I made eye contact with her, I had the very distinct feeling that she was not human. I had a feeling that she was something evil in a human shell.

I felt the most amount of terror and most threatened I have ever felt. I also felt like I was the food at the bottom of the food chain and I was her next meal. I definitely had a fight-or-flight response after I was able to pull my eyes away from hers. I remember thinking I had to get away and I had to protect my family.

I tugged on my husband's shirt and grabbed my son and started to pull them away. My husband asked why; I said we need to just go. I remember thinking it was very important that she didn't know we were leaving because we were afraid of her. We went to the other side of the store (if we were smart we would have left immediately).

My husband walked off to electronics and my son and I stood in front of a bookshelf full of board games. There was an aisle right behind us for magazines. Then I heard a man that was leaning down toward my son say in a very low tone, "I see you... she can't hear you, but I can."

I didn't turn around; I was too scared. I grabbed my son and dashed away. I now believe he was one of the black-eyed people too and they were there together. I went to the car with my son and just felt this heaviness of evil that almost felt like it had stuck to me until I went to bed that night.

 Origin of source unknown.