WITCH HUNTER

 

I have not seen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. I likely never will. But I welcome any film that brings me a new score by one of my favorite composers: Atli Örvarsson. While he basically picked up where Hans Zimmer left off, that doesn't make it any less good.

NO SHAME

This is too amazing.

From a review of The Asylum's Hansel & Gretel by Dread Central:

No doubt designed to capitalize on the big screen release of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, The Asylum’s Hansel & Gretel is a mockbuster in name only. A different beast altogether, a Texas Chainsaw fairy tale of sorts, in which two modern teenagers named Hansel and Gretel get trapped in cannibal witch Dee Wallace’s gingerbread house of horrors where innocent young people are turned into meat pies.

Hold on a sec!

Wait just a minute!

What’s that quote on the cover art?

I guess I don’t need to bother finishing this review since, according to the box art, I already did.

“PRETTY DAMN GOOD HORROR MOVIE” – DREADCENTRAL

I’m the only person on this website who has ever written about this film so I know it has to be my quote. In fact, here’s the quote:

"…it looks like it has the potential to be a pretty damn good horror movie judging by the preview."

That’s from a story I wrote about the Hansel & Gretel trailer back in October – not a review.

I guess that’s good enough.

That is a new low, The Asylum. I am in awe of how scummy a tactic that is.

Although it's still better than the unattributed, unquoted one-line praising statements that usually appear on your garbage,