THIS IS SOME SPOOKY SHIT WE GOT HERE

Do you own a video camera?

No. Fred hates them.

I like to remember things my own way.

What do you mean by that?

How I remembered them.

Not necessarily the way they happened. 

If we don't, remember me.

REAL VAMPIRES

In Rhode Island in the late 1700s lived a 19-year-old girl named Sarah Tillinghast. Sarah was a dreamy girl, spending her days wandering small graveyards where Revolutionary soldiers lay. She was known to bring a book of poetry to these places and seat herself on a grave slab and read for hours on end. One day as she returned home from one of her visits she professed herself ill and took to her bed. Soon after she had a horrible fever and within weeks she was dead. 

The Tillinghast family was still grieving some weeks later when Sarah’s brother, James, came down to breakfast looking pale, shivering and complaining of a weight on his chest. He claimed that Sarah had come to him and sat on his bed. Sarah and James’ parents thought it was nothing but his grief playing tricks with his mind. 

The next day James was even paler and could barely breathe. Soon after, James was also dead. 

But Sarah and James were just the beginning - shortly after their deaths two more Tillinghast children died, both saying beforehand that Sarah had visited them. These claims were quite frightening for the Tillinghast parents, for it meant that Sarah was returning from the dead to draw the life from remaining family members. The rumors spread through the town, all saying one word - Vampire! 

Not before too long there were more deaths, and all of the victims claimed that it was Sarah that they saw right before the sickness took hold.  Then finally Honour Tillinghast, the mother of all the dead children, too became sick. Honour lay in her death bed swearing that her lost children were calling out to her. 

This was when Snuffy Tillinghast, the father, finally took a stand. With the help of his farmhand, Caleb, he went out early morning to the cemetery where Sarah was buried. He took with him a long hunting knife and a container of lamp oil. 

The two men reached Sarah’s grave and together dug up her casket and opened its creaking lid. Even though she had been put to rest 18 months ago Sarah looked as if she were asleep, there was no decomposition. Her eyes were open, according to one account, fixed in a stare, and fresh blood was found in her heart and veins.  After seeing his daughter’s face flushed as if with blood he took his knife and cut out her bleeding heart. It is said her body gushed with blood. Snuffy Tillinghast then set his daughter’s heart on fire and burned it to ashes.

After the heart was burned the deathly ill Honour Tillinghast recovered fully and there were no more strange deaths or Sarah sightings in the Rhode Island town again.

REVIEW: THE PROSPECTOR'S CURSE

 

As I watched filmmaker Josh Heisie's short film The Prospector's Curse, I was struck by just how much the tone and over-the-top nature of the story's events felt as if they had been plucked from the pages of the old EC comic line, or from the Creepshow film series.

After watching the film and checking out the press kit sent by the filmmaker, I saw this:

The Prospector’s Curse will be pitched as the first “chapter” of an anthology horror feature (IE, “Tales From the Crypt” and Creepshow). Each chapter will pay homage to a different genre of B-Movie, including this spaghetti western inspired ghost story, a film-noir thriller, a 1950s style creature feature, and a psychedelic slasher flick.

Glad to see we're on the same page. And I'll even do the filmmaker one better. The Prospector's Curse feels like a lost film from the efforts of Sam Raimi and Co., perhaps made and forgotten somewhere during their other little seen opus Within the Woods. Your plot is a rather simple one: Two fugitive men on the run during the height of the U.S. gold rush come across a dying prospector who begs them to give his gold to his sister, and to give him a "Christian burial." The two men agree, but do neither, intent on finding his stake and picking up where the old prospector left off. Well, in line with the old morality tales that "Tales from the Crypt" made famous, the two men will end up regretting their decisions.

The Prospector's Curse is wonderfully quirky and outrageous, but would benefit more from being surrounded by other short films of its type. As a one-off, I could see some viewers being standoffish with it if they're not "in" on the joke. Some people like their horror straight-laced and serious; some like it goofy. The Prospector's Curse is definitely goofy. One can come away with no other opinion following a scene in which a character thinks he is passionately kissing his long-lost love before seeing that it's actually the dead and bloody prospector...and spitting beard out of his mouth. I hope this anthology idea works out; from someone who misses the format, it would be something to look forward to.

Check out the film's official Facebook. 

The Prospector's Curse - Trailer from Josh Heisie on Vimeo.

UFO BY NIGHT

REVIEW: HAYRIDE

Hayride opens with a scene in which our main character discusses with his girlfriend the history of his uncle's Halloween hayride attraction. After running through the list of oddball horror characters his uncle has created over the years to fill out his hayride, he adds: "You have to keep it simple. Simpler is scarier. People don't want a compelling story. They want to be scared."

"Sounds like lazy writing to me," his girlfriend says. Mm, boy howdy, don't it, just?

Steven Summers (Jeremy Ivy) has come back home with his girlfriend, Amanda (Sherri Eakin), to see his family for the holiday. That holiday would be Halloween, which while I can fully get behind the idea of supporting, seems weird he would make what seems to be a long trip for such an occasion. But it's because his family takes Halloween very seriously, which includes his Uncle (Captain) Morgan (Kindergarten Cop's Richard Tyson!). Oh, also - a killer is on the loose, bludgeoning people awkwardly with an axe. This is important to note, since, ya know...we need conflict.

Written and directed by T.R. Parsons, who must be an Alabama native based on his ability to capably capture its beauty, Hayride is yet another Halloween-set slasher film about a killer picking off one misguided young adult at a time. How to properly approach the final output depends on your level of prejudice against low budget film-making. I tend to teeter back and forth, as it's unfair to let a low budget affect one's opinion, as what matters was the attempt at transcending that kind of limitation. But if said film simply isn't trying anything new, then it's fair game. Hayride has a lot of neat new features, but once you strip them all away, we're still dealing with the basic model. 

Surprisingly, the film fairly shares time with the kids and the hayride subplot as it does with the killer. But when it wants to be horrific and bloody, it is. The problem is, after a point, it really does devolve into the usual slasher fare that we have seen time and time again. It tries to jazz up the proceedings by including a subplot about the law proactively attempting to hunt the killer down, instead of the usual "you're crazy, so-and-so's been dead for years!" reaction we so often get, but we're still left with the same old thing - our lead attempting to survive against the villain while simultaneously overcoming his own ingrained fears.

The film makes a concerted effort to establish some character development for our lead characters, attempting to flesh them out beyond their typical Abercrombie archetypes. There's a particularly sappy but pleasant scene between uncle and nephew about the latter's possible future - and whether what he considers to be more of a sure thing: a career, or his future with Amanda. None of this is expected to be included in this sub-genre, so it was a welcome surprise.

From a directing standpoint, though I'm not too big a fan of the hand-held movement taking over at every budget level, I rather like the flashback sequences used to help fill in the gaps about the killer's origins. Where most films would simply shoot in black and white, these scenes have been altered in post to give it a nice look - almost that of photographs bubbling and melting over an open campfire. And Hayride, its tongue firmly planted in cheek, has no shortage of homage. The detective hunting the killer is named Loomis; the camera settles in for a close-up of a girl's ass; a scary campfire about the killer's origins ends with a cheap scare a la Friday 2.

The sequences involving the hayride and walk-throughs are especially fun. We've all been to one, and whether it was shitty or fantastic, we remember the experiences, so the inclusion of these sequences work, even if by affiliation.

As usual in films of this manner, the younger portion of the cast's acting isn't tremendous. It's not terrible to the point of distraction, but much of it comes across as clumsy and awkward. Richard Tyson, however, seems to be teetering back and forth between sleepy Nic Cage and over the top lovable Billy Ray Cyrus. Either way, it makes me realized something: I've missed Richard Tyson!

There is bad out there, ladies and gents, and lord knows I have seen it. Seeing what I have seen, I can't in good conscience call Hayride a bad film, or even a missed opportunity - completely overwrought final minutes notwithstanding. It's perfectly and reasonably entertaining, and for a multitude of reasons. If you want an engaging story, it's here. If you want a body count, you've got one. But if you're looking for originality, that's one I can't say you'll find in this old Hayride.

CLOWNING AROUND

Daniel Licht's most prestigious gig might be his current one - scoring TV's "Dexter." But he took some time out to provide some eerie melodies for this entry in the Silent Hill video game franchise.

This one, in particular, is chilling.

A "LORD OF TEARS" UPDATE

The filmmakers behind the upcoming Lord of Tears, which has been accepted into the San Diego Comic Fest and will screen in October, are having a little fun. Writer/director Lawrie Brewster sent the below viral video my way, which features the elusive Owl Man giving some teenagers around the globe the mighty creeps via online video chat.

But seriously folks...

In Brewster's own words:

Lord of Tears is a feature-length supernatural chiller set in the remote highlands of Scotland. The idea for this film came about from my deep interest in the dark mythologies of ancient civilisations, old gods and legendary monsters - not to mention my obsession with terrifying ghost stories.

As a director, I'm passionate about telling uncanny tales that bring new nightmares to audiences. I want to create alternate realities filled with mystery, terror and suspense - fusing the ancient and modern, preying on our most instinctual fears with threats and twists we cannot foresee.

When researching the Pagan folklore of the Highlands I discovered accounts of a terrifying stalker never before seen on film. It reminded me of the chilling Slenderman and the old ones oft referred to in the short stories of H.P. Lovecraft.

Set against the bleak backdrop of a Scottish winter, Lord of Tears is a classic gothic-style ghost story with an insidious Pagan twist. Our film is inspired by classic horror movies like The Shining, The Wicker Man, and traditional horrors like The Haunting and The Innocents including the sinister influences of the J-Horror subgenre.

Lord of Tears tells the story of James Findlay, a school teacher tortured by childhood memories of a strange and unsettling entity - a figure dressed like a Victorian gentleman but with the head of an Owl, and elongated limbs with sharp claws. It took the boy years to recover from his vision, years of forgetting before he could resume a normal life into adulthood. He might never have remembered had it not been for the death of his mother... the nightmares... the return of that familiar, watching presence.

As James faces a descent into madness, his only hope to fight his tormentor, to banish the evil that haunts him, is to return to his childhood home. He travels to the lonely mansion in the Scottish Highlands, a place notorious for its tragic and disturbing history. There, he must uncover, once and for all, the chilling truth behind the immortal stalker.

The film's Kickstarter campaign has met their first goal, and their second has been set: the crew needs to raise £10k ($15k); donations would be used to:

polish the film further, to complete our soundtrack product, to create marketing materials and reward products, to develop an exhibition campaign to get our film publicity, press screenings and to meet the costs of festival submission.

All who donate would be eligible to receive an incentive or reward:

For those of you who choose our extra special film/soundtrack combo, you will be the first audience to experience the film and its score! Supporting us on Kickstarter is currently the ONLY way to see the film.

Perhaps the most appealing package for those watching their wallets (as we all are these days) would be the DVD pre-order, which would be shipped to donaters in July.

Really I'm just regurgitating what is on the film's Kickstarter page, so head on over for the full details. 

I really hope the crew meets their goal. Lord of Tears definitely looks interesting and unusual, and that's something the genre needs right now.