Mar 8, 2013

THE DEVIL'S TREE

This is one sinister looking tree, and according to the locals, who told us of its legends, everyone in the vicinity of Bernards Township seems to have a story about it. They say that at one time a farmer killed his entire family, then went to the tree to hang himself. According to some, numerous suicides and murders occurred around the evil arbor. Supposedly anyone who tries to cut down the tree comes to an untimely end, as it is now cursed. It is said that the souls of those killed at the spot give the tree an unnatural warmth, and even in the dead of winter no snow will fall around it.

When Weird NJ visited the Devil’s Tree we noticed evidence that many attempts had been made over the years to fell the unholy oak, but all have failed. The tree stands all alone in the middle of a large field off Mountain Road. Its trunk has been severely scarred by axes and chain saws, some wounds appearing to be quite old. Why no one has yet been successful in toppling the timber we cannot say for sure. Nor do we know what has become of those who have tried.

One Weird NJ reader described the Devil’s Tree to us this way: 
There’s a big field and right near the road is the tree. It’s the only thing in the field. Supposedly it’s a portal to hell and a sentinel guards it. He drives an old black Ford or pick-up truck and will chase you down the road until a certain point. You will see headlights one second, and the next nothing – the car is just gone.
Another local told us that the inherent unholiness of the Devil’s Tree is the result of the evil that men do, and should not to be blamed on the Devil.


Story source.

Mar 7, 2013

ELEVEN SATANIC RULES OF THE EARTH

  1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
  2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
  3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
  4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
  5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
  6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
  7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
  8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
  9. Do not harm little children.
  10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
  11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.



(For the record, I'm not a Satanist, but I'm amused by these "rules" simply because some of them are not what you'd expect to hear come out of the Church of Satan. Plus # 11 has a certain rhythm to it that I quite like.)

Mar 5, 2013

YOUR SWEATER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL

Usually when one buys clothes second-hand at shops like Goodwill, one just wonders whether it's been laundered properly. But Pat Robertson brought an entirely new worry to the fore on Monday's episode of his "700 Club" program. Responding to an email sent in by a viewer, the elderly televangelist said that, while not all clothes have demonic spirits attached to them, it never hurts to take some precautionary measures.

Robertson was answering a question from viewer Carrie, who wrote:
I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops. Recently my mom told me that I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house. Is my mother correct? Can demons attach themselves to material items?
Robertson answered Carrie's question with a story about a girl who was troubled by a ring that had been prayed over by a witch. "She had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was," Robertson said, before claiming that demonic spirits can certainly attach themselves to objects.

Now, does this mean all second-hand clothing is a vessel of the devil? Not exactly, according to Robertson, but "it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”

Goodwill's website encourages those who wish to make a donation to launder or dry clean clothes before bringing them in.

RUN!

Story source.

Image source. 

Mar 4, 2013

THE HECK D'YA MEAN?



Alright, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself? Are you alone?

Well, yeah.

You know who this is?

Well, yeah, I got an idea. 
How's that Ciera working out for ya?

Circumstances have changed, Jerry.

Well, what do ya mean?

Things have changed, circumstances, Jerry...
force majeure, acts of God.

How's Jean?

Who's Jean?

My wife! What the-?

Oh... right. 
She's alright,
but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so okay,
I'll tell you that.


What the heck are ya talking about? 
Let's just finish this deal up here.

Blood has been shed, Jerry.

What the heck do ya mean?

Three people, in Brainerd... are dead.

Oh, jeez!

That's right, we need more money.

What the heck are ya talking about? 
What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?

Never mind. We need more money...

This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!

DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY!
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Well, I'm sorry, but I just... I don't...

I'm not gonna debate with you, Jerry! 
I'm not gonna debate! 
Three people in Brainerd were killed. 
We now want the entire 80,000!

Oh, for chrissake, here! 

Feb 28, 2013

UTTER TERROR

According to a set of Facebook photos, this eel-like creature was caught in the Raritan River, somewhere in northern New Jersey.

Perhaps most frightening, the rings teeth of displayed in the photo have a very clear purpose: Sea lampreys latch onto their prey, then secrete digestive fluids that slowly eat away and break down the host. The Great Lakes Fishery Commission reports a sea lamprey can be expected to kill upwards of 40 pounds of fish over the course of its life. Survival rates for particular species of host fish can be as low as 15 percent.

Unfortunately, we can't be completely certain this photo really does depict a sea lamprey. "The photo doesn't allow counting of gill openings (seven per side for sea lampreys), but based on size alone, this does appear to be a sea lamprey,” a New York Department of Environmental Conservation spokeswoman told Outside Magazine, according to the New York Daily News.

The species typically grows to 2.5 feet in length, but some sea lampreys have been documented at sizes of up to 3 feet long, reports the Gulf of Maine Research Institute.

Sea lampreys are a native to the Atlantic Ocean and are found along the U.S. Eastern Seaboard and the coast of Europe, as well as in the Great Lakes, where it is considered an invasive species.

The New York Daily News adds that appearances of sea lampreys in New Jersey have increased recently, as officials have begun to remove old dams, thus easing the creature's progress upriver.

Source.

Feb 27, 2013

LORD OF TEARS


Filmmaker Lawrie Brewster of New Age Film was kind enough to reach out to provide us with some information on his new film, Lord of Tears, which is currently in the midst of a very successful Kickstarter campaign.

Brewster describes the film as:
...a British Chiller in the classic tradition of films such as The Wickerman, The Innocents, and The Haunting. Our story concerns a man trapped in a crumbling mansion, stalked by Owl Headed monster in the misty highlands of Scotland, on a mission to piece together a childhood broken apart by repressed memory and dark secrets. It takes inspiration from classic mythology, ancient history and modern legends such as those of - Slender Man! 
The script is written by Sarah Daly (the music artist Metaphorest, and cousin of Kate Bush), stars David Schofield (of Pirates of the Caribbean, Gladiator) and is directed by myself whose (past collaborations with Sarah Daly) has included works with Joseph Gordon Levitt and Channing Tatum, that have featured at Sundance and SXSW.
Click here for info on the film's Kickstarter campaign, Facebook, and the ever popular Tumblr. I am looking very much forward to checking this one out.


Lord of Tears Official Trailer from Lawrie Brewster on Vimeo.