ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE TRAINING

Zombie Apocalypse Training: HALO Corp. To Train Military, Law Enforcement On Virus Outbreak

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is ready for a zombie apocalypse. Gun owners got prepared for a zombie apocalypse. Now, the military and law enforcement are getting ready.

And next month, they'll begin training.

Security firm HALO Corp. announced yesterday that about 1,000 military personnel, police officials, medical experts and federal workers will learn the ins and outs of a zombie apocalypse, as part of an annual counter-terrorism summit, according to the Military Times.

Sure, the lesson is tongue-in-cheek -- and only a small part of the summit's more serious course load -- but a zombie-like virus outbreak is a good training scenario. Visitors will learn to deal with a worldwide pandemic, where people become crazy, violent and fearful. Zombies will roam the summit grounds in San Diego, Calif. harassing troops and first-aid teams that will be participating.

Further details are unclear, but the Military Times made sure to note that zombies are not real.

The training comes at a time when the term "zombie apocalypse" is so viral that several branches of government have released statements on the matter. Earlier this month, the Department of Homeland Security reported that "the zombies are coming" as part of a hilarious bid to get citizens to prepare for a real disaster.

The CDC has released similar statements using zombies as a playful guise to get the public prepared for actual disasters. To assure that no one's confused by these announcements, CDC told The Huffington Post that zombies are not real.

Yeh...YET.

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THAI FOOD

Thai Mother Allegedly Kills, Eats Sons

A Thai mother has been accused of killing, cooking and eating her sons because she thought they were pigs, the Bangkok Post reports. Hallucinations may have played a role in the tragic crime.

Police received a complaint last week that the woman, a member of the Musur hilltribe in Thailand's northernmost district of Chiang Mai, Mae Ai, allegedly "butchered" her two sons, ages 1 and 5, and proceeded to cook and eat them. According to the Bangkok Post, law enforcement officials allegedly found the woman asleep with several body parts strewn around her. Later, they reportedly learned she had been treated for mental illness since 2007.

A previous report from the Bangkok Post said that the woman stopped taking her medicine one or two months ago. A hospital report said the woman suffered from hallucinations and thought someone was coming to hurt her.

The news is the latest in a string of reported cases of cannibalism this year. Police busted a cult in Papua New Guinea in July for allegedly eating victims' brains and penises. In April, authorities in northeastern Brazil arrested three people for allegedly killing women and making pastries with their flesh.

Earlier this year, hallucinations caused by bath salts were thought to be behind an infamous face-eating attack in Miami, Florida. However, a toxicology report later showed that only marijuana was present in the attacker's system.

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Yes, this image actually exists.
And I didn't even have to search "pig baby."

THIS JUST IN

Man Bites, Eats Dog While High on 'Spice'

A Texas man faces a felony charge after he allegedly bit, killed and ate a housemate's pet dog while high on the synthetic drug "spice."

The alleged attack is the latest in the series of violent and bizarre incidents linked to spice, which mimics the effects of marijuana, and bath salts, which mimics cocaine.

Michael Daniel, 22, allegedly smoked spice in his Waco, Texas home before he assaulted his housemates and then ran out of the house into his yard, where he began crawling around on his hands and knees. He barked and growled at a neighbor and chased him back into his home.

Daniel then allegedly took his housemate's dog, a medium-sized spaniel mix, out onto the house's porch. He allegedly beat and strangled the dog, according to Waco Police Sgt. Patrick Swanton, and then began chewing "hunks of flesh" from the animal.

Daniel's housemates called police and requested emergency assistance, saying Daniel was "going crazy." Officers arrived at the house to find Daniel sitting on the porch with "blood and fur around his mouth" and with the dead dog lying in his lap, Swanton said.

Daniel, who police say told his housemates he was "on a bad trip" just before the alleged rampage on June 14, was charged on Monday with cruelty to a non-livestock animal.

The incident in Waco follows a series of bizarre attacks by people allegedly high on synthetic drugs, including a Glendale, Calif. man striking a 77-year-old woman with a shovel last week, a homeless man eating the face off another homeless man in Miami in May, and a man in Milton, Fla. biting into the hood of a police cruiser in February.

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DEAD WALK

In times past, when the villages of Tana Toraja were still extremely isolated and difficult to visit, it is said that certain people had the power to make a dead man walk to his village in order to be present at his own funeral. In this way, relatives of the deceased were spared the necessity of having to carry his corpse. One particular area, Mamasa-West Toraja, was particularly well known for this practice…

According to the belief system of the people of Mamasa, the spirit of a dead person must return to his village of origin. It is essential that he meet with his relatives, so that they can guide him on his journey into the afterlife after the ceremonies have been completed. In the past, people of this area were frightened to journey far, in case they died while they were away and were unable to return to their village. If someone died while on a journey, and unless he has a strong magic power, it would be necessary to procure the services of an expert, to guide the dead person back to the village.

This is not intended metaphorically—the dead person would be made to walk from wherever he had journeyed back home, no matter how far away that was. The corpse would walk stiffly, without any expression on his face, in the manner of a robot. If anyone addressed the dead man directly, he would fall down senseless, unable to continue his journey. Therefore, those accompanying the deceased on the macabre procession had to warn people they met on their path not to talk directly to the dead man. The attendants usually sought out quiet paths where the procession was less likely to meet with strangers…

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PREPARE

Imagine: You half-hear a low, guttural sound from outside as you lay sleeping. You figure it's just your stomach after too much delicious Mexican food...but a sudden thud on the outside wall of the house shakes you from a peaceful slumber. Deep within the primal centers of your brain, you realize the dead have risen to claim our once-peaceful realm. What do you do? What do you need? The dead have risen, and they've returned as something different. Those you were once closest to now hunger for your flesh, and possibly the Mexican food you had for dinner.

There is no room for error when dealing with the undead. Our Z.E.R.O. (Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations) Kit takes into account all the different aspects of surviving the looming zombie apocalypse. When the undead hordes rise from their shallow graves to wreak havoc on all decent civilization, you'll need to both fight back (Extermination), and find a cure (Research).

Always be prepared. In the new zombie world you can be king of the hill, or the tastiest treat in town.

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IT STILL CONTINUES...

Face Eating Attack In China: Drunken Bus Driver Allegedly Bites Woman's Nose, Lips

A woman was allegedly attacked in Wenzhou, China on Tuesday by a drunken bus driver who chewed off part of her face.

A woman has been hospitalized in China after a drunken bus driver allegedly attacked her and began gnawing on her face.

The woman, identified as "Du," was driving near a bus station in Wenzhou on Tuesday when a man ran into the street, blocking her car. The man, a bus driver identified as "Dong," allegedly climbed onto the hood of Du's car and began hitting the windshield, according to the Malaysia Chronicle.

Du got out of the car, and allegedly Dong tackled her to the ground, where he began chewing on her face, according to Shanghai Daily. Witnesses say they attempted to pull Dong off of her, but were unable to do so.

Dong was ultimately stopped by police, What's On Dalian reports. Officers say he had drunk around 1.75 ml of strong liquor prior to the incident.

Doctors say Dong did enough damage to the woman's face that she will need plastic surgery to repair her nose and lips.

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IT CONTINUES...

Alexander Kinyua Ate Kujoe Agyei-Kodie's Brain, Heart In Maryland, Cops Say

In yet another horrifying incident of human flesh-eating this week, a student in Maryland allegedly admitted to devouring his roommate's brain and heart.

Alexander Kinyua, a 21-year-old Morgan State University student, admitted to murdering his roommate Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, who was reported missing last Friday, cops told the Baltimore Sun.

Alexander Kinyua allegedly admitted to killing 
his roommate, then eating his heart and 
portions of his brain.

Kinyua's father called police late Tuesday night when Kinyua's brother reportedly found human remains -- a head and two hands -- in a metal tin in the basement. The brother and father left the room for a short time, but when they came back, the body parts had been moved and Kinyua was washing out the tin, the paper reported.

Officers searched the house and arrested Kinyua. The man allegedly confessed a shocking revelation: not only had he killed Agyei-Kodie by cutting him up with a knife and then dismembered him, he ingested parts of the victim's brain and all of his heart. He then allegedly dropped most of the remains in a Dumpster behind a church in Joppatowne.

It's yet unclear what Kinyua's motive may have been, but he was charged with first-degree murder on Wednesday. In another incident on May 20, he was charged with first-degree assault when he allegedly beat a fellow student randomly with a baseball bat and then fled into the woods.

The gruesome case comes on the heels of a similar attack in Miami on Saturday, in which Rudy Eugene, 31, was killed by cops while in the process of chewing off most of a homeless man's face.

Ronald Poppo, 65, is alive, but the bizarre flesh-eating attack left doctors with a literal puzzle in how to put his face back together.

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IT BEGINS...

Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim's Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police

One man is dead and another hospitalized after a bizarre assault off Miami's MacArthur Causeway reportedly forced a police officer to open fire.

City of Miami police say the incident began Saturday afternoon about 2 p.m. when an officer responded to reports of 2 men fighting in the bike path of the Biscayne Boulevard exit ramp, alongside the Miami Herald's parking garage. There, according to the Herald, the officer observed a naked man eating another man's face:

The officer...approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man's head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him.

The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

According to CBS Miami, police sources said the victim had "virtually no face" and was unrecognizable.

"[Officers] attempted to separate them, there was some sort of confrontation," Miami Police spokesman Willie Moreno told Local10.

Police said his victim was transported to Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital.

Officials have yet to identify the officer involved, the deceased, or the victim. The incident snarled traffic on the causeway for hours during busy Memorial Day weekend as multiple lanes of vehicles were routed around the crime scene.

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